1.  Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in·laws. While there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries, several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up, with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
      One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda‘s eyes were now open, and she looked very strange, He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
     The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
      A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot. and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to tind out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out. but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

2. An elderly woman spent a day shopping at the mall. Upon returning to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her can. Frlghtened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran out quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She went to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duly laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter

where four pale men had reported a oar jacking by a mean old lady. No charges were filed.

3. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline. He had made the mistake of plugging his hose in to the motor home’s sewage tank instead
of the gas tank. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

4. On a British Airways tiight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, weII·off white South African lady has found herselfsitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. 'What seems to be the problem, Madam?' asked the attendant. Can't you see?' she said, 'You've sat me next to a ketir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!'
      "Please calm down, Madam," the stewardess replied. 'The flight is very full today, but I'II tell you what I'Il do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class'. The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess retums with the good news, which she delivers to the lady who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin.
'Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken tothe cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in
first class'.
     Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: 'lt is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain  felt that  it  was
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